Midsomer Norton: 01761 417575
Keynsham: 0117 916 1088
Marjorie Taylor, Appeared on BBC Somerset
27.10.2009
Separation or divorce is never easy on those involved, especially where there are children. Sadly, grandparents can find themselves affected by their child's separation or divorce, and facing a loss of contact with their grandchildren.
If you are a grandparent in this situation, what can you do?
One important point is to try not to 'take sides'. Of course you will want to support your own son or daughter, but if you are seen as taking sides or 'ganging up' against your son or daughter's ex partner, they may become hostile towards you, and this is likely to make it harder to maintain your relationship with your grandchildren.
Try to reassure both the parents (and the children themselves) that your priority is to be there, as grandparents, for your grandchildren. You may be able to help by acting as a go-between, if the parents do not want to have to meet up to when the children go from one home to the other, for example, or to help out with child care if this is needed.
If however you are not able to reach agreement with your grandchildren's parents, you can consider Mediation (to try to discuss, with the help of an independent mediator, arrangements for contact) and if other methods fail, you can apply to the court for a contact order.
As Grandparents, you do not have an automatic right to apply for a contact order but must first apply to the court for permission - permission will usually be granted provided that you can show that the order you are asking for is likely to be beneficial to the children, unless either of the children's parents argues that allowing the application to be made (i.e. the court process itself) would be harmful to the children. This means that in most cases, permission is likely to be given. Obviously, you will be in a stronger position if you can show that you have an existing, good relationship with the children and they are used to you being part of their lives.
As with all applications under the Children Act, the decision about contact is based on whether contact is in the best interests of the children concerned. There is no automatic right to have contact.
To decide what is in the best interests of the children the Court will listen to what you have to say, and also what the children's parents views are. Depending on their age, the children may also be asked what they would like. The court is likely to be sympathetic to your wish to maintain your relationship with your grandchildren and to recognise the value of to the children of the contact, but they will have to consider it as part of the bigger picture, including the need to ensure that the children have quality time with both of their parents. The court may also consider the effect any order will have on the parents - will making a contact order to you mean the children have less contact with their Mum or Dad, for instance? A court is also likely to look at the practical arrangements - are you able to collect and return the children, so that their contact with you does not mean extra travel or expense for their parents?
If an order is made, the court does have new powers to enforce the order, making it harder for parents to ignore what the court has said.
If you are worried about losing contact with your grandchildren, or simply need to know where you stand, contact our Family Law department - our Frome Office offers a Drop In Surgery on Wednesday afternoons, and Marjorie Taylor at the Midsomer Norton office offers a free initial appointment.
Marjorie Taylor, Appeared on BBC Somerset
Separation or divorce is never easy on those involved, especially where there are children. Sadly, grandparents can find themselves affected by their child's separation or divorce, and facing a loss of contact with their grandchildren.
If you are a grandparent in this situation, what can you do?
One important point is to try not to 'take sides'. Of course you will want to support your own son or daughter, but if you are seen as taking sides or 'ganging up' against your son or daughter's ex partner, they may become hostile towards you, and this is likely to make it harder to maintain your relationship with your grandchildren.
Try to reassure both the parents (and the children themselves) that your priority is to be there, as grandparents, for your grandchildren. You may be able to help by acting as a go-between, if the parents do not want to have to meet up to when the children go from one home to the other, for example, or to help out with child care if this is needed.
If however you are not able to reach agreement with your grandchildren's parents, you can consider Mediation (to try to discuss, with the help of an independent mediator, arrangements for contact) and if other methods fail, you can apply to the court for a contact order.
As Grandparents, you do not have an automatic right to apply for a contact order but must first apply to the court for permission - permission will usually be granted provided that you can show that the order you are asking for is likely to be beneficial to the children, unless either of the children's parents argues that allowing the application to be made (i.e. the court process itself) would be harmful to the children. This means that in most cases, permission is likely to be given. Obviously, you will be in a stronger position if you can show that you have an existing, good relationship with the children and they are used to you being part of their lives.
As with all applications under the Children Act, the decision about contact is based on whether contact is in the best interests of the children concerned. There is no automatic right to have contact.
To decide what is in the best interests of the children the Court will listen to what you have to say, and also what the children's parents views are. Depending on their age, the children may also be asked what they would like. The court is likely to be sympathetic to your wish to maintain your relationship with your grandchildren and to recognise the value of to the children of the contact, but they will have to consider it as part of the bigger picture, including the need to ensure that the children have quality time with both of their parents. The court may also consider the effect any order will have on the parents - will making a contact order to you mean the children have less contact with their Mum or Dad, for instance? A court is also likely to look at the practical arrangements - are you able to collect and return the children, so that their contact with you does not mean extra travel or expense for their parents?
If an order is made, the court does have new powers to enforce the order, making it harder for parents to ignore what the court has said.
If you are worried about losing contact with your grandchildren, or simply need to know where you stand, contact our Family Law department - our Frome Office offers a Drop In Surgery on Wednesday afternoons, and Marjorie Taylor at the Midsomer Norton office offers a free initial appointment.
